Oh, sure.

These days everyone's a shade-tree meterologist/FEMA expert.

Unlike the boneheaded local, state and federal officials who lacked such foresight in dealing with Katrina, We The People saw this disaster coming right down Bourbon Street. Had it been up to us, the levees would have been fortified years ago... and the bon temps would have continued to roulez.

Even after the shock of 9/11, the public never lost its focus on the urgent need to build an effective levee system in New Orleans. "Forget terror, forget social security, forget tax relief," we shouted at well-attended Pro-Levee rallies across the nation. "We shall not rest until we've built a levee system big and expensive enough to protect the Big Easy!" Citizens from Maine to California wrote Congress demanding that all local porkbarrel projects be scrapped until the crisis in the Southeast had been averted.

Did our leaders listen? Of course not. Our President failed to allocate the necessary funds, even though several professors told him we were courting danger on an unprecedented scale. Meanwhile, corrupt Louisiana officials frittered away their budgets on casino projects and other job-creation and revenue-raising initiatives. Against the will of the electorate, these moronic politicians built the Superdome to keep NFL football in the city. Who needs that? What the people of New Orleans really needed and wanted were big, thick walls of cement. Costing billions of dollars. That would sit there in the water along the outskirts of town. Until one year... maybe next year, or maybe in a hundred years... the planets would happen to align just so to create a category 5 hurricane that also happened to make landfall right on the shores of Lake Ponchartrain, of all places... And the city would be saved!

If only the politicians of New Orleans would have invested the city's money on levees, just as the voters had prudently demanded... oh the rewards that would have awaited these visionary leaders! Can't you hear the glorious campaign slogans now?

"Vote for Senator So-and-So, Who Sent the New Orleans Saints to San Antonio and Spent the Superdome Money on Levees!"

Or...

"Congressman Levee-Builder Puts Flood Protection Ahead of Gambling... And Now, Shreveport Casinos Attract More Visitors Than Casino-Free New Orleans' Once-Famous Mardi Gras Festival!"

Now continue strolling through this parallel universe with me for just a moment. Imagine what would have happened had New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin not been so frighteningly incompetent... What if he had followed the idiot-proof emergency plan that mandated a massive evacuation of the city?

Next, what if instead of becoming an apocalyptic force, Hurricane Katrina had briefly threatened the Southeastern U.S. before moving southward and ultimately fizzling on the coast of Nicaragua, mustering no better than 35 mile-per-hour winds? In fact, that's exactly what "Hurricane Katrina" did. In 1999. (Yes, they actually recycle these names.) Ever since Katrina '99 performed so poorly, weather historians have mercilessly disdained her for displaying such weakness.

Had Katrina '05 followed the same harmless path as her anemic namesake, perhaps the lead story in the New Orleans Times-Picayune would have read a little something like this:

In what has been described by both Democrats and Republicans alike as a civil rights catastrophe, Mayor Ray "Chicken Little" Nagin forced thousands of poor, mostly black citizens of New Orleans onto hundreds of school buses in anticipation of a storm that never arrived.

After reportedly consulting with a team of state meterologists and flood control experts, Mayor Nagin set an ambitious objective of evacuating fifty thousand people from vulnerable parts of the city in the days leading up to what he called "L-Day" ("L" for "Landfall") in his many fiery speeches exhorting his constituents to leave the city.

In an unprecedented flexion of mayoral muscle, Nagin ordered continuous, round-the-clock trips to and from safe zones using the city's fleet of 206 school buses. Despite resistance from many of those affected, Nagin bithely followed the emergency plan drawn up in anticipation of serious hurricane activity. The sheer trauma of the move and the sweltering heat in the packed buses apparently led to the death of at least two dozen elderly persons. There were also clashes between police and armed citizens, which Nagin crushed decisively, killing an undisclosed number of persons reported to be involved in looting and violence as old New Orleans quickly became a ghost town.

At the first sign of unrest, Nagin successfully lobbied the Governor's office for the rapid deployment of the National Guard. "I will not see this city descend into chaos," Nagin vowed. "New Orleans will not become the third world on my watch." Once again, Nagin's heavyhanded tactics drew sharp protests. House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi likened the procession of buses to "trains on their way to concentration camps... men, women and children led at the point of a gun like animals." The Reverend Jesse Jackson said the spectacle of African-Americans being collected was "very frightening" and suggested Ray Nagin was merely a puppet for more sinister elements. "To watch people being rounded up in this manner, obviously on the basis of race and by mere virtue of their poverty, is something that must anger every American." " Where are they really taking them?" asked Jackson. Rapper Kanye West released a song memorializing these dark days, called "Highway of Tears" in which he compares the removal of New Orleanians to the forcible resettlement of Native Americans on reservations.

Others compared Nagin's regime to martial law in Iraq. "They're bringing the war in Baghdad right here to New Orleans, " quipped Filmmaker Michael Moore. "Was it really necessary to bring out the National Guard to help corral and shoot innocent Americans?" When Mr. Moore and his film crew attempted to confront Nagin, the Mayor was in the process of personally helping to direct the bus traffic. "I'm doing God's work, fat man," Nagin shouted to Moore, undaunted. "Either help me load folks on these buses or kiss my black ass."

Conservatives seemed equally outraged. Republican National Committee chairman Ken Mehlman asked, "If the people wanted to stay and brave this storm, shouldn't they be allowed to do that? Last time I checked, this is still America. The people are tired of liberals thinking ordinary Americans are too stupid to make their own decisions. This Nagin clown represents liberalism run amok." President Bush summarized the events even more starkly, stating that Louisiana's Democratic leadership "doesn't care about the rights of black Americans."

In a politically disastrous move, Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco initially supported Nagin's actions, ordering that hundreds of private vehicles be commandeered to assist in the evacuation. Subsequent damage to these vehicles has already resulted in thousands of lawsuits against the State. As the storm began to veer sharply southward toward Cuba, Blanco's position on the handling of the crisis also shifted as she blamed Nagin for "exaggerating weather reports."

When the hurricane failed to materialize, it was as though the whole city cried out in unison for Nagin's head. Before formally resigning, Mayor Nagin held a town hall meeting in which he once again attempted to walk through a series of charts intended to demonstrate weaknesses in the city's levee system. The event had to be cut short as a rain of rotten food and dirty diapers pelted Nagin and the cordon of riot police assigned to protect him.

Okay, maybe that's a little over the top. Just to be clear, I'm not defending anybody who lacked the vision to do a better job as Katrina approached the Gulf Coast. Just pointing out the foibles of human nature, one of which is a sort of foolish optimism fueled by a desire not to be inconvenienced. Truth is, nobody wants to participate in a fire drill in the middle of the work day when they've got stuff to do. Or go to a CPR class to suck face with a rubber doll. That's just the way people are. Most of the time we just figure bad things will happen to the next guy. There's a reason they call it "the unthinkable." People usually don't want to think about it, much less plan for it.

Recall that top officials in Thailand refused to order the evacuation of Phuket and other nearby resorts after receiving a tsunami warning from that country's frantic weather officials. Untold thousands died because of that tragic blunder. The geniuses in charge there opted to roll the dice on the basis that it would have been highly embarrassing and disruptive to the tourist industry if the warning turned out to be a false alarm. And maybe it would have been. But they've wisely gotten over their embarrassment about such things in Thailand since then, having ordered two large evacuations in the last ten months on the basis of false alarms.

Likewise, here at home we hope that the lessons learned from Katrina will ultimately save more lives than she took. But that will only happen when the public respects long-term planning more than short-term pandering. Plato warned that democracy inexorably results in leaders who pander to the mob. Which is a real problem, since the mob is always most interested in seeking pleasure and instant-gratification.

Already New Orleans is being rebuilt right in the middle of hurricane season with no plan in place for a proper levee system or the other measures that would be necessary to safeguard the eroded coastline. Even a modest tropical storm could kill thousands more if people start entering the city today. Yet we already hear that he French Quarter will be back in business in 90 days. I can hear them now:

The Superdome is a mess... we can't expect the pride of New Orleans, the mighty Saints, to play in a sh*thole can we? Let's build them a new stadium that does justice to the resilient spirit of the great Cresent City! And where do they expect people to play blackjack? Are we supposed to move the slot machines on top of the damned levees? Besides, how are we ever going to pay for the levees if we don't get the tourists back first?

What do you want to bet they'll do everything ass-backwards, rebuilding the whole place before adequate flood controls are in place?

Any takers?

UPDATE: I told you so. Jesus-on-a-pogo-stick, will we ever learn?