Your Security | Illegal Alien Anti-Terror Squads to Hunt Al-Qaeda in Defense of U.S. Borders

Executive Summary:

It's about time our leaders realized that border-jumping Mexicans could be America's #1 weapon in the fight against terrorism. Help your friends at www.cleveramerican.com fund billboard advertising that encourages Mexican nationals to report terrorist threats against the U.S. by "OTMs" (Other-Than-Mexicans). Informants of any nationality are entitled to generous rewards from the U.S. State Department through www.rewardsforjustice.com so the incentives to report terrorists are already in place. We just need to get the word out to our hard-working neighbors to the South, and do it now! Do the patriotic thing and help us by donating a few bucks using the paytrust link on the left. We'll follow up with cool pics of our billboards.

Extended schtick on this topic:

In the aftermath of 9-11, it looked as though a Coalition of the Willing might attract almost every nation, and perhaps even every species. But America's allies in the war on terror have steadily dwindled as the mission creeps across the Middle East.

Now that al-Qaeda is threatening to drop a flaming bag of nuclear poo on our doorstep, the internet is buzzing with doomsday rumors. You can’t swing a cat without hitting a politician speechifying about protecting our borders and ridding the land of terrorist cells.

The truth is, America is vulnerable. We need a miracle of sorts, to help us through this most daunting period in the history of our gapingly open society. We need an indefatigable ally, every bit as crafty and driven as the foes we face if we are to preserve our way of life and avoid a state of permanent lockdown.

Now then…

Imagine a nation of millions of hungry and enthusiastic defenders of capitalism, ready to lay down their lives for a shot at the American dream…

A passionate people, descended from fearsome Aztecs, cunning Spaniards, and the very kind of fanatical Muslims we face today… (Arabs, of course, occupied Spain for 700 years, bringing with them oranges, bellydancing, swarthiness, and Mathematics.)

So just who is this intrepid über-race so perfectly designed to form the vanguard of freedom and security in our hemisphere today?

They’re called Mexicans. And they’re everywhere.

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