Opinions vary on whether Michael Savage is a vain blowhard or a pompous fraud. The man brags incessantly about his purported accomplishments as a nutritionist, a journalist and a linguist, among dozens of other examples of demonstrable puffery. He is particularly proud of his skill as a writer.

And yet, any modestly educated listener would be compelled to reach an obvious and inescapable conclusion: Michael Savage doesn't write his own books. (We'll call this our "opinion," since we can't prove it, but you don't exactly need the cast of CSI to crack this case.)

Continue reading "Michael Savage Can't Possibly Write His Own Books"

In a stunning development sure to create a profound sense of disorientation (or "disasiantation," if you PC nitwits insist), CleverAmerican can confirm that Michelle Malkin has spoken the truth.

That's right, I said it. Tha troof.

And the beauty of it is that not even the most godless, America-hating, sodomy-loving, Islamo-fascist abortionist could disagree with her.

So choke on that, you filthy hippies.

Continue reading "Michelle Malkin Speaks the Truth, You Bunch of Oberlin Fruits!"

CleverAmerican cares deeply about our nation's safety. So when we seek out clever and cost-effective solutions to our border security issues we put politics aside. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for Chuck Norris... or somebody lucky enough to look like the ruggedly handsome star of "Walker, Texas Ranger." His name is actually John Keeley, and he's the "Director of Communications" for a conservative think-tank known as the Center for Immigration Studies.

But like so many who leap to criticize CleverAmerican, this cocksure mouthpiece does very little thinking before flapping his yap.

Continue reading "Chuck Norris Assails Clever American Proposal"

Imagine if we flipped on the television tomorrow morning to learn that either Washington, New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Chicago or Dallas had been wiped off the map by a WMD. Such an event would only be second in worldwide significance to, say, contact with space aliens.

This is the truth: Millions of Americans could be killed by a terrorist attack, most likely committed in the name of Islam. The technology is out there. We just don't want to think about it. We've said it before, ignoring potential horror is human nature.

Continue reading "Ominous Doomsday Scenario (Is there any other kind?)"

Those tough-as-nails, take-no-prisoners, über-conservatives like Laura Ingraham, Michelle Malkin, and Michael Savage (née Weiner) like to shame Americans for qualms we might have about racial profiling. Given their way, zeroing in on Middle Easterners would be the bedrock of our country's security policy. After all, soft liberals who've never had a syndicated radio show have no concept of the evil we face. They can't get it through their woolly heads that political correctness has no place on the battlefields our cities have become.

Those weren't Belgians or Poles flying the planes into the twin towers! They were shifty-looking Arab Muslims named Mohammed and Aladdin and whatnot. Use your heads you bunch of pussies!

Continue reading "Racial Profiling the Lazy Way"

Oh dear.

As you may recall, we recently submitted a press release urging Homeland Security to promote the "Rewards for Justice" Program to Mexican nationals. This would, of course, include illegal aliens in the target audience. The State Department is already promoting this program throughout the Middle East, which is a good thing, since that's where a lot of terrorists summer.

Continue reading "CleverAmerican.com's Anti-Terrorism Proposal Torn to Shreds by Top Conservative Thinkers"

Former sportscaster, Super-Dave Osborne lookalike and yo-yo dieter, Congressman JD Hayworth (R-AZ) made a startling pronouncement on The Big Story with John Gibson, which aired on Fox on January 18, 2006.

Congressman Hayworth, who has written extensively on immigration issues from his unique perspective as a sporting man, has apparently pledged to out-Tancredo the competition. Here he is at something called the "Bronze Elephant Banquet."

(In case you were wondering about the name of this event, it refers to the traditional role of the elephant as the mascot of the GOP. It has nothing to do with the Congressman looking like the spokesmodel for Hawaiian Tropic's new line of Big n' Tall Tanning Lotions.)

Continue reading "Representative JD Hayworth Accuses Terrorists of Littering Along US-Mexico Border"

Intrepid border-jumping Mexicans could be America's #1 weapon in the fight against terrorism. Want to do your part to defend our country? Help us purchase billboard advertising to encourage Mexican nationals to report potential terrorist activity against the U.S. by "OTMs" (Other-Than-Mexicans). OTMs stream into the U.S. via Mexico from countries like Yemen, Syria and Iran at the rate of some 50,000 a year. (While many OTM’s simply seek a better life, Homeland Security intelligence indicates that terrorists may also be crossing our southern border in substantial numbers.) Informants of any nationality are entitled to generous rewards from the U.S. State Department so the incentives are already in place. Recruiting hard-working illegal aliens (scores of whom perished in 9-11 along with legal residents) to join the war against terror will save lives and protect our economy.

Continue reading "Illegal Alien Anti-Terror Squads to Hunt Al-Qaeda in Defense of U.S. Borders"

Campaign Launched to to Encourage Illegal Aliens to Fight Terrorism

Loftus Carlson, editor of www.CleverAmerican.com, claims that “border-jumping Mexicans could be America’s most effective resource in the fight against terrorism.” Carlson has launched a campaign to encourage Mexicans crossing the border by whatever means to report “OTM’s” (Other-Than-Mexicans) who stream into the country illegally from countries like Syria, Yemen and Iran at the rate of over 50,000 a year.

“Every day, thousands of Mexican laborers cross the U.S. border illegally to pursue economic opportunity,” writes Carlson. “Common sense tells us that these people are not a terror threat. While it’s true that the porosity of our borders benefits both illegal workers and al-Qaeda operatives, that’s certainly not your Mexican landscaper’s fault.”

While Carlson hastens to add that “many OTM’s entering the country via Mexico simply seek a better life…Homeland Security intelligence indicates that dangerous terrorists also seek entry via our southern border, aided by such organizations as the notorious MS-13 gang.”

The basis for Carlson’s scheme to recruit illegal aliens is the U.S. State Department’s “Rewards for Justice” program (www.rewardsforjustice.net), which provides generous rewards to informants of any nationality for information about terrorist activity. In the words of former Secretary of State Colin Powell,

“Rewards for Justice gives us millions of additional pairs of eyes and ears to be on the lookout. It puts potential informants in every place a terrorist might try to hide or operate in. And it works.”

Thus, Carlson states, “Huge rewards are already in place and waiting to be claimed. We just need to spread the word to our intrepid border-crossing neighbors, who have no idea this program even exists. That’s where www.cleveramerican.com wants to help―with Spanish-language billboards placed along the border to trumpet these wonderful incentives to millions of potential informants who’ve been ignored and under-utilized.” Carlson adds that his ultimate goal is to attract government sponsorship and administration of this publicity effort. “A substantial amount of Homeland Security resources must be devoted to raising the profile of Rewards for Justice among Mexicans immediately.”

“Once engaged in the fight against terror,” Carlson says, "these legions of undocumented workers would no longer be such easy scapegoats for the likes of Congressman Tom Tancredo, Michael Savage and Michelle Malkin, who relentlessly cast these overwhelmingly decent people as constant reminders of our border insecurity. Aggressively recruiting hard-working illegal aliens (scores of whom perished in 9-11 alongside legal residents) to join the war against terror will save lives and protect our economy.”

“'Illegal’ or not,” Carlson concludes, “we need all the help we can get in this life-or-death struggle if we are to continue to prevent the use of nuclear or biological weapons in American cities. The debate regarding illegal Mexican immigration can continue apace but it’s time that Conservatives and Liberals alike focus on the immediate issue: defending our precious nation with all of our strength, resources and cleverness.”

Contact Loftus J. Carlson, III
loftus@cleveramerican.com
Sponsored by www.CleverAmerican.com
Another provocative site from KickAssMedia

Oh, sure.

These days everyone's a shade-tree meterologist/FEMA expert.

Unlike the boneheaded local, state and federal officials who lacked such foresight in dealing with Katrina, We The People saw this disaster coming right down Bourbon Street. Had it been up to us, the levees would have been fortified years ago... and the bon temps would have continued to roulez.

Even after the shock of 9/11, the public never lost its focus on the urgent need to build an effective levee system in New Orleans. "Forget terror, forget social security, forget tax relief," we shouted at well-attended Pro-Levee rallies across the nation. "We shall not rest until we've built a levee system big and expensive enough to protect the Big Easy!" Citizens from Maine to California wrote Congress demanding that all local porkbarrel projects be scrapped until the crisis in the Southeast had been averted.

Continue reading "What if Katrina Had Fizzled Out... But Not Before New Orleans Had Already Been Fully Evacuated?"